In addition to the generic ‘Erotic Couplings’ category, this chapter also fits the ‘Romance’ category.
A confession of love
Alison wondered whether she had made a mistake. The simple admission to Tom that she would return had the unsettling effect of making that fact integral to her daily life. What had once been loitering in the back of her mind was now a constant distraction. She began having lapses of concentration, drifted out of conversations with friends. The only way she could fend off too much curiosity from girlfriends was by chuckling knowingly at teasing remarks that she was spending too many nights with Greg.
She struggled to find refuge in evenings on her own at her apartment. She sat on her couch, the TV making noises, while she thought through what had happened. There was one moment in particular, when she had mentioned the value in repeating experiences. She continued to play back the moment in her thoughts, how Tom responded, how quickly he became hard. Why did he react that way, as though he had been released from an inner inhibition?
Worse, it had turned her on to see him react that way, and she flushed with the realization that the memory of that moment continued to arouse her.
There was something else. The second time she had forced herself to participate in the post-orgasm cooling down period. It bothered her because it felt correct to do so, because it had helped her feel less empty. But it also felt uneasily more personal. She knew the thoughts were contradictory. Her own motivations were contradictory. Her effect on Tom intrigued her, and aroused her. That she had been, nervously, holding back afterwards might mean that she was, somehow, holding back during the sex with Tom. Maybe he notices, maybe he thinks I’m still fearful, she thought. Maybe he’s holding back because he doesn’t want me to panic again. She wanted to let go, to release herself fully into the experience.
She lay alone on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering. She smiled to herself, while a lazy hand drifted down between her thighs. God, if it’s the way it is now, what would it be like if we both let go completely? Her hand slipped inside her panties. She felt herself wet. She – they – had to get past that barrier.
She thought of a way to do it.
* * * * *
Alison had just finished showering, and was rubbing her long hair between a towel when her phone chimed an in-coming call. She went over to the phone, still drying herself, and checked the call number. It was Tom. Alison hesitated. She thought she didn’t want even more of an intrusion into her regular life. This thing with Tom was something that she wanted to deal with separately, on its own.
The call signal sounded again. A different voice reasoned that he wasn’t here physically in her own world. The phone link, the voice continued to reason, is to that other world of private experience. He won’t be here, you will be there. There, somewhere else in his world, where all this is happening anyway.
Another chime. She picked up the phone.
“Hi .. Thought I’d call .. I was wondering how you were doing.”
“I’m fine. How are you?”
“Good. I thought you wouldn’t mind my calling. What with you saying we’d get together again .. “
“No, it’s OK. It’s nice that you called.” Alison walked to her bedroom, wiping beads of water from her naked skin.
“I was thinking about you. I wanted to hear your voice, make sure you still exist.”
Alison smiled, stretched out on her bed. “Yes, I’m still here.” She continued to slowly dry herself, holding the towel in one hand and phone in the other.
“Where are you right now?”
“I’m in my apartment.”
“Not doing anything in particular?”
“No, don’t worry,” she said in a reassuring tone. “I was sitting on the couch, reading.”
“I’m not interrupting? It sounded as though someone was with you.”
“No. What gave you that idea?”
“Because you’re talking so quietly.”
Alison paused. “Am I? So are you.”
“Oh.” Tom paused. “I guess I am. I’m on my bed, and with the phone next to my ear it feels like you’re right next to me. If you were lying beside me we’d be talking more softly, wouldn’t we?”
Alison smiled again. “Yes, I guess we would.” She stopped drying herself, but continued to draw the towel loosely over her body, tickling herself with the coarse fabric.
“What are you wearing?”
Alison replied with a gentle laugh. “You’re lying in bed, imagining me beside you, having a whispered conversation. Since when have I ever worn anything in your bed?” She wondered whether she was being mean, teasing him. “Hello? Are you still there?”
“You’re giving me some delicious thoughts.”
Alison chuckled. “I can imagine. So .. I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt.” Alison lay on her back, head and shoulders propped up against a pillow. She tossed the towel to one side and looked down over her naked body, conscious of the rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed. The movement felt erotic. “What kadıköy escort would you do if I was there beside you?” she asked.
“I’d be on my side, looking at you while we talk.”
“Just looking at me?”
“Looking at your eyes .. all of you. And I’d be caressing you.”
“Everywhere. Your hips. Your stomach. I’d slide my hand under your t-shirt to feel your bare skin.”
Alison touched herself, her fingertips following the curves and hollows of her hips and waist, the flat of her abdomen.
“Not only look at you, but to touch you, to feel the shape of you, hold your breasts.”
“I’m not wearing a bra,” Alison whispered. She cupped a breast in her own hand, squeezed, closed her eyes. She heard him release a deep breath.
“I think I’d very quickly want to undress you,” he continued, stress in the tone of his voice.
Alison giggled. “Take my t-shirt off and my jeans off?”
“And now you’re imagining me there, naked beside you?” She tilted the phone away from her mouth, and took a deep breath.
“Yes,” he murmured. She could hear his breathing become quicker. “What would you like me to do?”
Alison gripped her mound and squeezed gently, rubbed herself. “What do I like?”
Alison hesitated. He must already know. They’d done it. Saying it, putting it into shared words, would somehow make it more real.
Silence. “You still there?” Tom prompted.
“Of course. I was thinking,” she answered. Should I, she asked herself, doubting. Of course, I’m inside that other world, she reassured herself. She slid a middle finger along her groove, felt herself hot and slippery wet. “There’s a lot I like.”
Alison held the phone at arm’s length, while she again squeezed her mound, stimulating her clit, and tried to suppress a groan. She brought the phone back to her ear. “Such as how it feels when you first enter me,” she whispered.
“The first time I entered you? You mean during the threesome?”
“No, I mean each first time. Every time you enter me. It’s like,” she paused, shivered, struggled to control her breathing, and continued to slowly finger herself. “It’s like .. crossing a boundary, two bodies finally .. together. It gives me a rush. Even more than what comes next.”
“You’re giving me a rush.”
“Yeah? What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking of you naked, under me. And I’m pressing my cock against you, and then I slide into you.”
“Mmm, like that, slow.”
“I can feel you hot and wet, tight around me.”
Alison again head the phone at arm’s length. She ached, deliciously. Another moment to control her breathing. “Yes,” she sighed. “When you enter .. and how you look.”
“How do I look?”
“Like you can’t bear it.”
“God. Jesus, Alison ..”
“I like seeing you like that, wanting me.” She heard him, and giggled. “Are you playing with yourself?”
She laughed, softly. She fingered herself slowly. “That’s OK,” she whispered. “Imagine being inside me, moving inside me. I like how that feels. I like seeing you want it.”
Tom groaned. “Come over.”
“It’s too late.”
“What difference does it make? You can stay the night.”
Alison winced, remembering the morning after awkwardness. “No. Next week.”
“It’ll be agony to need to wait that long.”
“Well, finish. I’m right here beside you, whispering into your ear ..” deep breath .. “while you’re moving inside of me.” Pause, fingering herself. “I can raise my legs and take you deeper .. would you like that?”
“Alison …” She heard him groan. She waited, her moist fingertips roamed up her body, drew circles around her taut nipples. She ached. Tom, breathless, asked “When, next week?”
“I don’t know. I’ll have to check. Are you all right?”
He took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m good. How about tomorrow?”
“No, I can’t. Friday.”
Alison laughed playfully. “Thursday. Maybe. I’ll let you know.”
“OK. I think I can survive three days.”
Alison disconnected the phone and tossed it aside. She ached. She thrust two fingers into her wet cunt, rolled onto her stomach, fucked her hand, and buried her face in the pillow when she peaked, the pillow muffling her cry.
She lay still for several minutes, regaining her breath, searched for a sense of calm. She lay on her stomach, cheek on pillow and stared off into an unfocused distance. Damn it, she muttered to herself.
* * * * *
Alison had already planned to meet with Greg the next evening. They went out for dinner, to brainstorm a vacation together at the end of summer. Somewhere warm and by the sea. “Somewhere hot and wet,” Alison joked. She had a habit of imagining what she called porn commercials, putting a raunchy explicitness to the innuendo seen on TV. “Sounds like a sex break,” she parodied. “Feeling tense? Need some relief? Need something hot and wet?” Some of that too, Greg grinned in reply, playing to her weird sense of humor.
In spite of talking about vacation plans, Alison felt uneasy üsküdar escort for much of the evening. Something else was on her mind that she wanted to discuss with Greg. Something more immediate, more important. She wanted to bring it up somewhere less confrontational, not in a restaurant negotiating across a table. She wanted to wait until they were back at his apartment, safe, cuddled together in bed.
And so it went, the evening truncated by her wish to get to something more urgent in her mind. Spooning together in bed, Alison held onto his arms around her.
“Well ..?” Greg finally prompted.
Alison sighed. “Is it that obvious?”
“Afraid so.” He gave her a brief squeeze. “Out with it.”
“OK.” She hesitated. “This is just a theoretical question, OK?”
“A hypothetical situation.”
“I was .. wondering .. what you think about me seeing Tom.” She tightened, braced herself for the reply. Waited. “Greg?”
“Have you been thinking about this?”
“A bit.” Silence. “Greg?”
“Give me a couple of minutes to catch up to you.”
“It’s just an idea ..”
“Yes. I’m serious about this being an hypothesis. Your opinion matters. That’s why I’m asking. Don’t try to second guess a right answer. There isn’t one. OK? Just tell me what you think.”
“I know. I know you’re not playing games.” Greg sighed. “I suppose .. it depends .. but I suppose it would change things in some way.”
“What?” Alison asked shakily.
“We’re not living together. I don’t usually ask what you’re doing with your own time. We haven’t really had that conversation yet. But there are always trade-offs when you have to deal with degrees of commitment.”
“What?” She turned in his arms, and faced him. “What are you talking about?”
“About you seeing Tom. I’ve been in non-exclusive relationships before. They need a different sort of balance from me.”
“No. No no no. That’s not what I meant.”
Greg held her eyes, puzzled. He felt tense. “Oh .. what then?”
“I didn’t mean another relationship. I meant .. just ..”
“Is this still the threesome on your mind?”
“Yeah,” she smiled weakly.
“Still something you can’t figure out?”
“It’s complicated. I understand the you and me part of it.” She nestled into him. “I don’t know what the rest of it is.”
“Even when we’ve already discussed it?”
“Everything keeps blending together. It’s hard to keep track of what’s what.”
“So you want to give it another try?”
“Yeah .. sort of. It’s about how I react and why. Not so much about him.” Greg remained silent, thinking. “Greg?” Alison prompted. “Is it about your other .. what did you say .. non-exclusive relationship? Did something happen?”
“Umm, no, I wasn’t thinking about that. That was a friends with benefits situation, and she also had another friend with benefits. It wasn’t an issue for me, at first. Then I got more attached, to the point where I realized that I would have liked a deeper level of commitment.”
“That’s what you mean by a different balance?”
“Yes. I was number two, in the way she set priorities. It made me realize that I wanted a number one level of commitment. If not with her, then somewhere else. So I let it fade.”
Alison stroked his furrowed brow. “You’re frowning. Bad memories?”
“No, it wasn’t an unpleasant situation. Just .. a situation that I didn’t want to be in any longer.”
“That’s what you thought about first when I asked my question.”
“Your question sounded like it. But that’s not what I was thinking about. I was trying to recall our conversation about the threesome, how you got confused by what you were experiencing. About you always having had relationships where emotional bonding came first.”
“It’s new to me, the physical part on its own.”
“Life has a way of throwing surprises at you.”
“I know.” Alison gave him another tight squeeze. “It didn’t bother you, did it?”
“Seeing me alone with him.”
“You weren’t exactly alone with him.”
“I mean the serial twosome part. I know I panicked and chickened out, but if I did continue I would have been focused on him, alone in that way,” She smiled hesitantly, impishly, feeling uncertain.
Greg acknowledged with a rueful smile of his own.
“I bet you would have been turned on,” she teased, giving Greg a quick kiss.
“Alright .. I was already turned on, even if you didn’t go solo with him. I’m not sure it’s something I’d want a lot of, but seeing you so aroused in that way, letting yourself go – yeah, I was turned on by it. If the two of you continued, I don’t think I would have minded. I assumed something like that would happen.”
“But you’re not sure?”
“I thought about it, played out the whole scene with just the two of you having sex. In my imagination, no problems. When I say I’m not sure I only mean that reality can be different. It can throw some surprises at you. You don’t really know until it happens.”
Alison grinned slyly.
“Wait a minute,” Greg tuzla escort frowned. “Why do I get the feeling I’m being conned? That’s what you’re asking about Tom, isn’t it? You can’t be sure until it happens, whatever it is?”
“No. But thanks for the idea,” she grinned, kissing him again. She reached down to find Greg semi-hard. “I knew it. Someone is still turned on.” She stroked the staff to full rigidity. She bit playfully at his chin.
She wiggled and shoved to get Greg between her thighs, spread in invitation. “So you get turned on by .. seeing me turned on? Is that the idea?”
“Something like that.” Greg rubbed his stiff cock along her inner thighs. He could feel the wet spot. “Can’t you tell, by the positions I like? It turns me on, watching you.”
She kissed him slowly, rolling her pelvis into him. “So you’re saying that you’re lazy,” she teased. “And want someone else to do the work?”
“Not seeing someone fuck you, but watching you while you’re being fucked.”
She bit his ear. “You and your sweet-talking philosophical nuances,” she breathed. “Make me come.”
Greg moved over her. Alison guided him with small movements of her pelvis, her arms around his shoulders. Alison raised her bum to take him, and he slid into her. They lay still for a moment, savouring the embrace.
“I want to look at you when I come,” Alison said.
“You think you can do that?”
They moved together. Alison held his head, forced him to keep looking at her while he pushed her towards an orgasm. She struggled with what was building in her, what was gaining strength. It came in peaks and small explosions, forcing her to involuntarily arch her back, or throw back her head. Each time she fought her way back to Greg, held her face close to his, holding his eyes with hers.
“I .. I’m close,” she gasped. Greg thrust hard and deep in a way he knew would push her over the edge. “Close ..” she moaned, eyelids fluttering. “I’m .. clo ..” and could not finish as her body began to shake.
She winced, eyes squeezed shut.
* * * * *
The next day Alison texted a message to Tom.
> Tomorrow? Thurs?
> You got wine?
> I have a surprise
> D’uh surprise
* * * * *
Alison took a last sip of wine and placed the empty glass on the end table beside the couch.
“When am I going to see your surprise?” Tom asked.
“It’s not exactly a surprise, just something I want to try.”
“You have to figure it out.”
“Aren’t you the mysterious one today. Does the wine have anything to do with it? You don’t drink much.”
“I like to keep my wits about me,” She answered with a grin. “And, yes, the wine has something to do with it, a mood thing. Such as when I’m nervous about trying something new.” She stood and walked past the bookshelves to the bed. She crossed her arms and pulled her t-shirt half-way off. “Do you want to help me?”
Tom moved behind her, rested his hands on her bare waist. Alison raised her arms over her head to allow him to pull off the t-shirt. With her arms still raised, he moved his hands down and cupped her breasts. He massaged them, slowly, paused to undo the hooks of the bra strap. He touched her naked skin, cupped her bare breasts, the nipples pressed into his palms. He felt her heart beating.
He moved to kiss her but she pulled back, coyly. “Get ready,” she urged with a smile, then reached down to step out of her panties. She stood in front of him while he undressed, then knelt to pull down his boxer briefs. She stood and pushed lightly against his chest. “Lay down and make yourself comfortable.”
Tom smiled, puzzled. He lay back on the bed. Alison sat beside him, and began lightly touching his body with her fingers, cautious, as though for the first time. She bent forward over him and kissed his mouth, once, then again, then held the kiss, mouths open and tongues touching, then deeper. She tasted the sweet acidity of the wine.
Tome held her, moved to pull her body down over his. Alison smiled, placed a restraining hand on his bare chest and sat up, then inched herself slowly towards the foot of the bed. She continued to touch his body, his abdomen, his thighs. She stroked the underside of his scrotum. His semi-erect penis flexed in response. It almost seemed alive, with a will of its own. Alison chuckled at the thought. She stretched out beside him, supporting herself on one forearm and held his penis in one hand and began to lick the head. She circled the rim with her tongue then took the entire cool head into her warm mouth and held it there, then lowered her head and took in sucked it, circled the head with her tongue. His penis began to grow and stiffen in her mouth. She held it vertical between fingertips and thumb and licked around the shaft. She glanced up to Tom, and paused. She saw his face, concentrated, intense. She felt reassured. She licked up the shaft, took the head into her mouth played with the head with her tongue, then took him deeper into her mouth.
She wanted to continue, but couldn’t, too impatient with her own anticipation. She straddled a leg and began humping his upturned foot, stimulating herself. Gripped his shaft in her fist, pumped languidly while she pushed her cunt, swollen in arousal, against him. She looked up to him, eyes locked, expectant.