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My Big Fat Farty Friend 3Hello lovelies, it’s Danni here again just in time for Christmas…though there’s no way you could fit me down your chimney hehe!I can’t believe how much you all love my silly little anecdotes, but I’m so glad you do and I’m happy to share them here via my lovely mate.So, when I last left you I was talking about the time I was trapped in a lift and how I stunk the place out before getting rescued by a very hunky very dishy fireman.I’m going to tell you what happened next.It was a couple of nights later when Brendan, that was the fireman’s name, rang me. I’d just got in from work and had nothing planned other than putting my aching chubby feet up and watching crap on TV with a bottle of wine. “When you treating me to dinner then?” he asked “I did save your life, right?”Just over an hour later and we met at Nando’s. As I walked through the door I’ve a feeling the staff told the kitchens to get a wriggle on fast, because I’d likely eat them out of business lol.Settling my big butt down I ordered and devoured the Peri-Peri chicken, with large spicy rice and coleslaw and Luso beans and garlic bread. We’d already shared the wing roulette – well, I say share I made sure I had 7 of the 10 wings – for starters and for dessert I had Choc cheesecake with double cream, all washed down with a Cara Viva. Well, a girl’s gotta keep her shape right? And I knew Brendan wanted some gas in the tank for later. Oh yeah, it may have been a first date, but he was getting it. I wanted his cock and I wanted to fart in his face badly. Very badly.The poor guy wouldn’t know what hit him!It wasn’t long before we got back to mine, I tipped the cabbie a bit extra than normal in case I broke his suspension lol, and Brendan and I headed into my front room. He was all for sitting down on the sofa, expecting coffee or something, but I soon put him right. Standing directly in front of his face, my back to him, I could hear his breath quicken as he took in my luscious large arse cheeks encased in tight blue denim. I pretended I was trying to find the remote for the TV, but really I was just waiting for what was brewing in my stomach. BPLAPLATBRATBRRRRRRRRPGod that felt good and kurtköy escort I know it felt good for Brendan. Before I had chance to giggle and pretend it was all an accident and say ‘goodness me how unlady like I do apologise blah blah blah’ he’d gripped my arse in his big manly hands and pulled my exquisitely plush posterior up to his face.He was trying to motorboat my arse like a big pair of titties!”Patience tiger,” I purred. “Plenty more where they came from. Let’s go through to my bedroom”The look on his face told me he could not believe his luck “You’re sure?””You’re my hero aren’t you?” I said, dipping at the knees to plant a big kiss on his lips. As I was down there, I let another ripe loud one go too heheThurrrrrpt!In the bedroom, he got himself undressed with all the speed and efficiency you’d expect from a fireman, before planting himself down on the bed, spread eagled. I took my time, letting him admire my creamy, fluffy white flesh. I’d made sure I was wearing underwear a teensy bit too small for me because I knew Brendan was the type of guy who’d probably appreciate that. As such I had some lovely little rolls straining over my knicker elastic and my pants were riding right up the crack of my arse. I bent down nice and easy and rolled them down over my legs, before stepping out from them and tossing them into his face. His nostrils went into overdrive and all I could do was stand there giggling as I watched his cock twitch from lazy lob to full attention. It was a nice cock too, a real fireman’s hose running to a satisfying 7 inches. I couldn’t wait to unfurl it and wait for the white stuff to come shooting out to dampen the fire within my big steamy muff.A few second later, he removed my pants from his face, balling them into his hands, and admired my wobbly bottom in its full (very full) unabashed glory. “You like my fat arse don’t you?””Mmhhhm” he licked his lips, nodding. “What size are you?” he stammered.I let my eyes widen and twinkle “Size 16 to 18″ I purred and watched as his cock strained at the air.”Like these too?” I asked, gesturing to my tits which strained at the too small bra I had on. It was an old one, a bit out of fashion, but like kaynarca escort I say I knew he’d appreciate all that flesh desperate to be freed. He nodded and with a swift motion I unclasped my bra and let my chubby milky white, veiny E cup boobies fly free, swinging and swaying like a swimmer coming up for air. I turned full on to him now and let him cop an eyeful of my muff. I’ve never been one for the old Kojak down there, I’m a woman not a little girl!, but I did like to keep it neat. I could see he approved, his eyes taking in my reddish brown hairs and thick juicy lips. He tried to rise up from the bed but I made it plain that was not welcome. “Oh no” I said, pushing him back down like he was nothing and, turning back around, I heaved myself onto the bed feeling my buttocks swaying with the effort. I let out a few farts as I went, a bit like one of those lorries that warned you they were backing up!PRRT BLRT PARP.Aiming for his face, I was all set to plant it down and let him struggle for a while when suddenly his big hands gripped at my fleshy rippling thighs “God no!” he screamed.My head shot around “You what?””Sorry, but I’d need to shout the boys down at the station out if I get trapped under there!””I beg your pardon?” He grinned sheepishly “I mean…well, I’d rather you put it…y’know, down there”I blinked, confused. “Down there?””My cock” he pleaded “Shove that fat bum down on my cock and blow away to your heart’s content! I want to feel them exploding on my shaft. Oh please baby please!”WELL! This was a new one even for me!Chuckling, I said “Alright then” and made sure I dropped my heavy load down hard onto his waist. I mean hard too. I like new things but I was after all a little bit disappointed that I wasn’t going to squash his face real good. I like doing that and he had spoilt my fun. Naughty boy. Anyway, he groaned with immediate pleasure, clearly liking it rough, and for a second I thought he was going to shoot his beans right away, splattering my crack with a real steaming juicy blast. His cock was as hot as a poker and as stiff as an RAF heroes upper lip!”Fart, oh please, fart for me Danni, fart…fart…FART!”Well, who am I to keep a boy kartal escort waiting?Thrupppblaaaaaart!I could feel my wind juddering against his trapped truncheon and God did it feel good! Tossing my head back, I roared at the ceiling, feeling my pussy flood with excitement. It was such a turn on to sit on his boner and fart away like a trooper.PPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLRTTTTTTT!I rattled another one out, feeling his rigid dick strain at my crack. My arsehole puckered and not just with the farts…with excitement too. It’s always been an exit, not an entrance, but in that moment I could see why some girls liked it thrown up there.BararappabapbapI could hear Brendan groaning in ecstasy as I kept forcing them out. I could hear him sniff loud at the fruity aromas I was emitting and hear his hands slap at the mattress with glee “More! More! Please God more!” he wailed.BbbbbrrrrrrrrtPfffflllllltThirppppppppppt!That last one was a real corker so much so that Brendan couldn’t hold back any longer. My undercarriage suddenly felt even damper and hotter than it was already and his cock was really spazzing out beneath my weight. I turned my head around and saw his eyes roll to the back of his head in ecstasy.”Brendan, have you-have you cum?” I asked sweetly, though I knew full well he had. I could feel it up my arse and against my pussy lips and I fucking loved it.Spent, all the poor guy could do was nod, rubbing a clammy, trembling hand across his sweating features “Mmmhhhhm”I couldn’t resist “Already?” and with a sigh, I lifted my glorious big bottom up and let out one final sweet toot mere inches off his exhausted cock.Ppppppprt!I rolled onto my side, the bed protesting at the shifting weight, and kissed his cheek “Good boy” I murmured, feeling his cum growing cold on my arse cheeks. The waft of my digested Nandos hung in the air like a cloud above us.He slowly opened an eye “I’ll be ready to go again, in about ten minutes” he hoarsely explained “I don’t just wanna leave it there. I wanna be in you if that’s OK?””You bet it’s fucking OK” I said, snuggling up to him, my hand already going down to his depleted cock and balls THRUUUUUPT!It twitched as soon as the air exploded from my cheeks. “My hero” I chuckled. It looked like he’d be back before ten minutes was up.MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS AND GALS! And as a Xmas treat , Here’s a little piccie we took today just for you – sorry its not in smell-o-vision, lol!