Keep score along with her as Ondra, a 28 year old slut in denial, graphically catalogs every ounce of semen and every drop of vaginal fluid from her sexual exploits in her remarkably descriptive sex chronicles. She discloses everything to her readers, from photographic details about past and present fucks to her own quirky personal hygiene and grooming habits.
I once heard a comedienne say that she keeps in touch with all of her ex-boyfriends so that she can always go back and have sex with one of them without adding to her overall “number”.
SHEER GENIUS, and a point of view to which I too subscribe.
Although it won’t necessarily help the environment, I always try to employ this brand of “sexual recycling” and it helped me reduce my overall “vaginal footprint” by at least 1 in 2011.
: Feb – Apr 2011. Tim – Made fun of the way I fuck.
Although he was never really a boyfriend in the classical sense, Tim is the one guy I was with in 2011 to which the taste, feel and aroma of my pussy was not new. It was Tim whom, as I’ve mentioned in the past, called me greedy for rubbing my clit during sex. He just couldn’t figure out why I felt that I needed to masturbate even though I was presently being fucked.
His ribbing me about that is a bit frustrating, but as I’ve said before, Tim is a really, really nice guy. He’s just a good person. Why do you think I keep recycling him? My most recent three month fling with Tim was about my fourth or fifth go-round with him over the past several years.
He’s kind of a nerd that’s cool at the same time and being a nerd, he hasn’t been with many women in his life. In fact, I think I’m one of only four for him. I don’t “know” but I “know of” one of his other girls and I’m relatively sure she also comes back to Tim from time to time.
Ordinarily geeky guys like Tim don’t get chicks like us, pretty (I’d rate myself an 8.7286145 on a scale of 1 to 10) and bit on the racy side. That other girl actually reminds me a lot of myself and I’d love to know what the remaining two look like. Tim tells me I give the best head, however. By the way, he may be a geek, but he happens to have a fit and naturally lean body, so no one should feel sorry for me for getting repeatedly fucked by him.
Tim says he’s been called “safe” his whole life. I agree with that, but to me safe doesn’t mean harmless or boring. Usually when a woman tells a guy he’s harmless she’s really saying, “You’ll never see me naked.” Well, Tim has probably seen me naked as much if not more than any guy I’ve dated in the last ten years and he doesn’t seem so “harmless” to me when his balls are slapping against my clit as he’s thrusting his dick into me from behind.
As far as him being boring, I’ll say this:
Orgasms Aren’t Boring – and I’ve had more of them at the bequest of Tim’s fingers, tongue and rock hard cock than I could even begin to count (or could I?).
To me safe simply means familiar.
I know that watching me work out on my elliptical machine gives Tim a hard on.
Tim always seems to be able to figure out precisely how I want my pussy eaten on a given day.
I know the way Tim likes his balls cradled as he’s having an orgasm.
Tim can tell how horny I am just by the sound of my voice, even if we’re talking about pomegranates.
Although our familiarities have made for some pretty rockin’ sex since we’ve met, I can’t single out one signature moment that defines our union. So, since Tim’s dick has been inside me more than anyone’s recently, I decided to attempt to quantify just how much fucking we’ve actually done over the years. I’ve never sat and figured out something like this before and I’m dying of curiosity to see the results!
Now, let’s assume an average fling between us lasted about eight weeks and that we’ve had five of them. So that’s forty total weeks for the Tim and Ondra Show. We’ll say that we had sex ten times a week, with a “time” equalling one orgasm for Tim and, of course, one load of cum. But let’s not ignore my own orgasms either and estimate them at triple Tim’s total.
We’ll go on to assume that one-half of Tim’s loads ended up in my stomach, twenty percent ended up in my vagina, ten percent ended up on my tits, five percent ended up solely on my face with minimal swallowing involved (an outright cum facial), five percent ended up in my colon and ten percent ended up somewhere else on me, like on my back or stomach. We’ll forget about the ones that went straight down the drain in the shower after a handjob and those random ones that went into my coffee or some meal I was eating (yeah, we’re into that too).
I’ll designate an outright blowjob as a time when a cumshot from Tim was produced absent of any intercourse and came strictly from me giving him head (I was going to say: “…came strictly at the hands of my mouth”, but that sounded too strange), and we’ll set that number at fifteen percent of the “one-half in my stomach” number from above. Granted that’s a loose estimate, because I didn’t swallow pendik escort every single one of the loads that I generated by outrightly blowing Tim, but for the overwhelming majority of them I did.
So, after crunching the numbers we find that Tim has achieved 400 orgasms through the use of my body in some way, shape or form and I’ve gone to the moon 1,200 times thanks to him.
Through a combination of the 30 outright blowjobs I’ve given him and his finishing off in my mouth after sex, I have swallowed 200 loads of Tim’s cum.
Tim has given me 20 outright cum facials and dumped 40 loads of spunk on my tits. I’ve received 80 vaginal and 20 anal creampies from Tim and he has deposited his product somewhere else on my body 40 times.
Doesn’t seem like such a geek now, does he?
Okay, I need to warn you guys up front that June was a very busy month for me (and my vagina). I saw a statistic somewhere that said June is the number one month in which teenagers lose their virginity and I believe it. I mean, with proms, last minute flings before graduation and spring fever, how could it not be?
At any rate, I am also a part of that statistic and to this day I’d be willing to bet that since I started having sex, I’ve fucked more NEW guys in that month than in any other month on the calendar.
: June 2011. Brian.
I met Brian through a dating group veiled in the guise of a hiking and outdoor fitness club. I called it the – “Oh yeah, well if you’re so into hiking, then hike your ass over here and fuck me” – club, because that’s primarily how people treated it. They basically used it to find sex partners. I wasn’t any different, but at least I actually hiked when I showed up. Sometimes people would just meet in the parking lot at the bottom of the trail and then carpool it over to Starbucks from there.
On my first hike with the group I started walking with Brian because he was the only one who seemed serious about it. We immediately developed a mutual respect. Well, by the second hike I realized that respect wasn’t the only thing Brian had for me, as I repeatedly caught him staring at my tits as they jiggled and bounced up and down when I walked. On hikes I would wear these tight, white cotton t-shirts that clung to me and closely contoured themselves to the silhouette of my breasts, so who could blame him?
Only halfway through the second hike I was already pretty relaxed around Brian and was comfortable enough to tell him I had noticed him checking out my tits. We joked about it for the rest of the walk and by the time we got back to our cars, I had made a bet with him over the amount of support I would be donning under my t-shirt the next time the group met.
If was wearing a bra for Saturday’s hike, I owed Brian a dinner, but if I had the guts to show up bare-breasted underneath my t-shirt, then he would have to treat. Kimberly’s printer was acting up, so she happened to be over using my computer Saturday morning.
“Ondra! THAT’S how you’re going hiking?”
Needless to say, I won the bet.
So that evening, after what was a very distracting hike for him, Brian picked me up at my place to take me out. I was wearing a devilishly low-cut dress and, you guessed it – NO BRA.
In the car on the way to the restaurant Brian teased me, calling me “Miss Sophisticated” based on the conservative and lady-like way I sat in his passenger’s seat. I just took it as a compliment and said, “Why thank you, sir.”
Well, after some very provocative dinner conversation and three glasses of wine, Brian formed a slightly different opinion of me during the drive home, as he found my head bobbing up and down in his lap and detected audible slurping noises coming from my mouth as I devoured his cock like it was a creme brulee.
He joked and said, “A simple ‘thank you for dinner’ would have sufficed.” I just leaned up and gave him a big wet kiss on the mouth and then went back to sucking his dick.
Once at my house, our clothes vaporized as soon as we got in the door and Brian went to work on the very set of tits he had been fantasizing about for the past three weeks. I stood over the seated Brian as he squeezed, bit and ran loops around my nipples with his tongue.
I have lots of little pimples on my areolas, which I think add to their sensitivity, but of course, I don’t know what they would feel like without them. He even lifted them and licked the “overhang area” underneath my breasts. That skin doesn’t get much attention and it can be very pleasurable to have that spot fondled.
I looked down to notice that Brian was playing with his cock.
“How would you like to have that right in here?” I asked, as I placed my hand in between my breasts.
I wanted to give his dick a really good tit stroking and I couldn’t figure out how to get the ideal angle. I ran into my closet and came out with a surprise.
“A step stool?” said a baffled Brian.
I had calculated that if Brian stood on the second step of this particular maltepe escort stool, that would put his dick precisely at the level of my chest, allowing me to jerk him off with my tits and avoid having to maintain that awkward kneeling position while doing it.
Kneeling is one thing when you’re giving a blowjob, but it’s an entirely different one when you also have to support your weight, rock yourself up and down, and keep your breasts smushed together at the same time.
I promptly smothered Brian’s cock with my tits, talking directly to it almost as if I were mad at it.
“Yeah, I know this is what you fucking wanted all along.”
“I’m gonna make you cum so fucking hard!”
Brian kept his fingers pressed on the base of his penis so it would remain comfortably and cozily nestled between my breasts as I slid them back and forth, resetting my grip on them from time to time.
If you were to listen closely, you would have picked up the faint sound of our body parts rubbing together – Brian’s penis, my breasts:
‘Whoosh, Woosh, Woosh.’
My step ladder idea was turning out to be the perfect call.
As his erection continued its euphoric ride, surrounded by its fleshy playmates, I recalled that in the car Brian had stopped me because he didn’t want to cum too soon. I wondered if he would do the same now.
Not only did he not stop me, but I think I still have a dent in my sternum from the force of the first spurt of his cumshot. By the time he finished cumming I had blobs of his thick, white jizz ranging from my neck, across my tits and down to my belly button
“You’re going to need an extra large towel for that one!” Brian said with a laugh as he gingerly worked his way down from the stool and collapsed onto my bed.
I immediately straddled him and gave him a lesson in feminine skincare as I methodically rubbed his cum into my neck, my tits and my stomach, working it into myself as if it were sunscreen. He watched mesmerized as my hands gradually turned his cum from loose and runny to thick and gooey on my skin. It finally disappeared entirely, temporarily becoming a part of my own body until the next time I chose to shower. No towels necessary for cleanup this time!
While still straddling him, I leaned down to whisper in Brian’s ear.
“I’m going to lick your balls now.”
“I don’t know how soon I’ll be able to go again.” Brian responded.
“Don’t worry about that. I just want you to relax and let your balls enjoy the attention.” I said, prepared to take as long as was necessary for Brian to achieve another erection.
I kissed my way down his neck to his chest and across his stomach. I sucked the last trickling remnant of cum from the tip of his dick and finally made my way down to his ball sac, which I pampered with consistent upward strokes of my tongue. I kept that steady rhythm until I noticed his cock start to twitch and shift around as it began to fill itself with blood for the second time that evening.
I stood up on my bed over Brian and then squatted myself down onto his awaiting erection, which he was keeping perfectly vertical for me with his hands. My hiking partner’s cock was inside my pussy for the first time.
I bounced and bounced on top of Brian while my tits flew up in the air and slapped down against my ribs repeatedly.
‘Thwaap, Thwaap, Thwaap.’
They were a whirling blur of commotion, but Brian knew how to tame them in an instant. With a simple reach upwards, he gave my wayward breasts a temporary home – the palms of his hands.
I was working so hard riding Brian that I was sweating like a longshoreman. The cumload I had rubbed into my skin after reverse tit-fucking him earlier was beginning to come back out of my pores and mix with that sweat to form a slimy concoction on the entire front of my body. I could feel his hands sticking to my breasts as he continued to cup them.
As I squatted above him, Brian’s hips lept up from the bed to meet mine as he piston-fucked me, finally injecting gobs of warm cum into my pussy, which thirstily accepted every drop.
I don’t think I’ve shared this with you folks yet, but if a guy happens to cum inside me when I’m on top of him, sometimes I’ll take it upon myself to clean up what comes running out of me after I raise up off of his cock. Not with a tissue or paper towel, but with my mouth.
As soon as I climb off of him I’ll take his whole dick back into my mouth and suck out any cum that’s late to the party, then I’ll squeeze my lips as I slowly extract it from my mouth, cleaning off the excess spunk in the process. After that I’ll lick the cum off his stomach and lap up any secretions that have run down to his balls. Finally I’ll spread his cheeks and lick the goop from around his asshole.
I usually only perform this task for a guy on a night that I feel particularly naughty and nasty.
I was feeling particularly naughty and nasty that night.
By the time we fell asleep, my entire upper body and face were kartal escort covered in sticky goo, but getting cleaned up would have to wait until the morning. For tonight Brian was going to have to be okay with sleeping next to a dirty sponge.
Brian and I fucked again two days later on our lunch break, then I got all caught up in getting ready to go on vacation and I haven’t seen him since June. We still send dirty emails and instant messages to each other, though, and if things don’t work out with Neil, Brian will be the first one I call for sex.
Actually, if things don’t work out with Neil, I’m calling Tim for sex first and Brian will definitely be next on the list. I think.
: June 2011. Felton.
Although I tried to watch myself at my job, Fel was not the first guy from work that I had sex with, although technically I didn’t actually fuck him. The reason I hadn’t been with him already was definitely the work thing; and believe me, with his looks, that was the ONLY reason.
If I had originally met Fel on a non-professional basis, the order of events would have gone:
1) Spit out chewing gum.
2) Drop to knees.
3) Open mouth.
4) Insert penis.
5) Wipe cum from chin.
6) “Hi, my name’s Ondra, what’s yours?”
And I mean in that EXACT order.
So guys, you know how when you’re about to go on a vacation, sometimes your mind is already there a few days before? Well, that’s how I ended up being with Fel.
See, I had myself booked on one of those four day three night trips geared towards singles at a Club Med. Chloe, Cara and Kimberly originally said they were into it, but it turned out to be one of those deals where, when you initially bring it up everyone’s all gung-ho, but as soon as it’s time to actually book it, suddenly no one wants to go. I knew I wasn’t going ANYWHERE once school started, so I decided to just go by myself.
I had heard all of the jokes about these places (like calling them “Club Bed” and saying four “lays” three nights instead of four days three nights; and I won’t even start with the “all inclusive” jokes), so I was really looking forward to it.
So much so that my vagina had been involuntarily self-lubricating for three days straight in anticipation. I needed to get fucked before I got on the airplane and Fel’s dick was definitely at the top of my pussy’s Most Wanted list.
I reserved a hotel room by the airport the night before my insanely early flight so I wouldn’t have to rush in the morning and, as I hate being in cold hotel rooms by myself, I decided to ask Fel if he might want to stay with me to keep me company. We had danced around the matter of romance between us several times before, so he didn’t seem all that surprised when I invited him into what was an assured self-fulfilling sexual prophecy.
Car problems caused me to arrive at the hotel later than expected, so Fel was already waiting for me in the lobby when I walked in. I got the key card and soon the two of us were headed upstairs.
I had so much raw excitement and pre-vacation horniness that when the elevator doors opened at our floor, the elderly couple that was waiting to go downstairs caught me with my arm shoved wrist-deep into Fel’s fly, which I had unzipped to stroke his cock. But that’s okay, I was never going to see them again anyway. (Wrong! They checked out and were headed to the airport the same time as me the next morning.)
Once we got into the room I immediately pulled Fel’s dick out of his pants and attempted to make it a permanent part of my own esophagus. His penis had (or I should say HAS, unless he’s had it surgically altered since then) a pretty pronounced upward curve to it. I always find it a lot more difficult to blow a curvy cock without losing control of it at some point and having it pop out of my mouth.
It’s especially challenging right at the end of a blowjob, when I’m mouth fucking a guy at my fastest and most furious pace and his curvy dick is flying around in fifty different directions inside my mouth.
Not to worry, though. Over time I’ve developed sufficient oral skills to tame even the most unruly of cocks and I was ready to apply the best of those skills in dealing with Fel’s man meat.
On that night, steps one and six from above weren’t necessary, but I sure did a hell of a job performing steps two through four on his curved seven-incher, guiding it in and out of my mouth with tact while keeping it drenched in my slippery saliva.
Well, I must have done TOO good a job, because just as I was in the beginning stages of sucking his balls, I heard, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down!”
In an instant I ceased all hand action, withdrew his ball sac from my mouth and slurped the excess spit from my lips.
Whew, that was close!
But it was too late.
The cum had already begun shooting out of Fel’s dick.
At that point I knew I couldn’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, so I started jerking him off really fast to allow him to finish his orgasm with conviction. Cumshots from curved cocks are even more directionally unpredictable than those from straight ones, so I made sure to keep the head of his dick close to my face the whole time, with most of his cum landing on my forehead, eyelids, nose and lips.